|Posted on May 16, 2010 at 12:01 PM|
Tonight is the finale of what has been – in my opinion of 20 seasons worth of viewing – one of the best Survivors ever. It was a terrific reunion cast, with very few notables missing. (The only villain noticeably absent was Johnny Fairplay, who, let's be honest, is *such* a douche wad that he really isn’t missed. His last appearance was SO pathetic, asking to be sent home after 3 days, and then Probst went on record saying he would *never* work with JF again, so, really, his absence is not too surprising and in no way dented the show.) I would have welcomed Ozzy for the heroes, and Ambah, but still a terrific cast.
So, we’re having a little Survivor get together tonight, and if past get togethers have shown me anything, then at some point in the night, we’ll hear Jon Yelle – who is eerily similar looking/acting to a moderately less evil Russell – say, “I swear: if so-and-so wins, I will NEVER watch Survivor again!” This is declared with just slightly less veracity than Al Gore telling us that the planet is rapidly becoming a lifeless carbon ball.
Tonight, however, we have a pretty good final 5, and of them, there are 3 people that I wouldn’t mind seeing win.
First, Colby needs to go. He has been utterly pathetic this year. Did you see him at last week’s Tribal? I actually thought he might have dozed off. I’m surprised that Probst didn’t hit him with a, “Umm, Colby? Are we keeping you up?” I also *loved* Probst calling him out to his brother during that challenge – “He’s been like this the entire time.” (OK, people! In a water throwing challenge, do not sweep the bucket side-to-side creating a wide, totally uncatchable water droplet mess. Throw a nice vertical arc of water!) James totally summed up Colby this year: “It’s like I found out Superman was in a big girdle. You see those muscles, then you get up close and it’s a fat suit.” (James next – and sadly final – quote was also awesome: “I’m gonna be good and drunk in the next five minutes.” James, you ARE missed!) I can’t see any way that Colby makes it to the final 3, barring some miraculous against-all-odds-chance that he wins the next two immunity challenges. And, seriously, unless the challenges are titled, “People named Colby Donaldson win!” and “Sitting and brooding and sucking” I can’t see him winning. However, if he DOES make it, he has a great shot of winning. There are a good number of Heroes on the jury -- though he probably lost Candace's vote by, you know, turning on her -- so if alternate universe, Bizarro-world Colby shows up and wins the challenges, he could pull an upset. (Cue angry Jon Yelle comment...)
Next, Jerry needs to go. Her only move this year has been to basically steer clear of the Russell vs Everyone showdown, and I hate to see a hanger-on get the prize. However, this is Survivor, and I could see Jerry making it to the final 3 just because of this reason, and at that point, who knows what the jury will do. To quote Mayor Quimby, they are often a fickle bunch of mush heads.
So, that leaves Sandra, Russell and Parvati.
I did NOT like Sandra at first. At all. The only good thing she did was befriend Courtney, so that tells me she’s not entirely lame. However, Sandra proved brilliant at puzzle challenges AND she is a wicked tactician. She has done a bunch of behind the scenes maneuvering, and who’s to say what this game would be like right now if the heroes HAD listened to her when she straight-up told Rupert that Russell was playing them with JT’s idol? Plus she found – and secretly pocketed – the final hidden immunity idol, surprising everyone by whipping it out. And, she is the only person to openly defy – “I am AGAINST you” – Russell and continue telling about it. I think Sandra can win it.....again!
Once again, Russell played a brutal, backstabbing, deceitful, openly hostile Survivor, and it was both great fun and repulsive to watch. Russell *deserves* to win this time, every bit as much as he did last time. He got rid of Boston Rob in a power play that could just as easily have turned against him. Then he outed Coach at a time when keeping a stronger player seemed the smarter move. Then he broke up Parvati and Danielle, ensuring that the people HE wanted went to the end. He teamed with Colby Russell when it worked, and abandoned them when it didn't. Russell proved that he’ll do anything – “I swear on my kids!” – to win, but ultimately, he won’t. The jury HATES him and sees him for the “dirty little troll” (Courtney, why didn’t you get more airtime?) that he is. If he DOES win, I’ll certainly not be disappointed, but I WILL be surprised.
That leaves Parvati, who reminds me of a girl I went to school with named Elan Parti. (Though, I don’t remember Elan having a mile-wide evil streak…) Not only does Parv deserve to win, I think she WILL win. From day one, everyone was describing her as “best Survivor player” and “the one to beat” and Queen B. Heck, Probst came out and told everyone that Parv was the first player ever to last 100 days on Survivor. So, to last the entire time while you have literally every player gunning for you, is amazing. Also, whether by luck, smarts, stupidity or intimidation, Parvati linked up with Russell early on and managed to keep that alliance together. And we all know that allying with Russell is a bit like carrying a scorpion around in your pocket. Sure the scorpion feels kind of tickly for a bit, but you’re REALLY not surprised when it finally decides to sting you in the junk. Also, Parvati is frickin’ amazing at endurance challenges. Like unworldly, super humanly good. Stand on a piece of wood for 8 hours? Sure, Jeff, sounds fun! Hold your arms over your head all day in the hot sun? Wow, Jeff, it’s like I’m on vacation! She actually looks like she is relaxing in the challenges while other players – Rupert, you should probably see medical – are pouring sweat and muttering not-so-silent curses. Whether it is from yoga or being in league with Satan, Parvati is THE BEST endurance Survivor *ever*. Plus, with that double-idol save-my-lady-villians move, she gave us what was the greatest of all Tribals. Parvati, I'll be raising my glasses of box red wine (umm, thanks, I think, Malia...) to you!
However it turns out, this season has been a great ride, and I'm just as excited for the wrap-up show where Probst always brings it. Love to hear your comments below and which Surivor you're rooting for.