Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should be receiving an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Cart

John Sciacca Writes...

Features, Reviews and a Blog by John Sciacca

Random Thoughts (Blog)

Random Thoughts (Blog)

AV Phone Call Nightmares

Posted on July 2, 2014 at 5:10 PM

Customer: Hi, this is Mr. X. Do you remember me?

Me: Umm, I think so… We did a job for you quite a few years ago, right?

Customer: Yeah. You put in a system for me in my new house about 5 years ago. And now my remote isn’t working. I need a service call.

Me: OK. Well, can you tell me a little about your system?

Customer: You should know. You’re the one that put it in.

Me: Yes, sir, but as you said, that was 5 years ago. And as I look at your file I see it was actually 8 years ago. And I’ve probably installed hundreds of other systems since then. Tell me about the remote you’re using. What kind is it?

Customer: I don’t know. You should know; you put it in.

Me: I truly wish I had total recall for every single one of the systems and every single component that I’ve installed over the past 16 years, but I’m afraid I don’t. Let me just look through your file for a bit to see what we installed…OK. I’ve got it. So, what’s going on?

Customer: The remote isn’t working.

Me: What makes you think the remote isn’t working?

Customer: I don’t have any TV.

Me: OK. When is the last time you changed the batteries?

Customer: I just changed them.

Me: ’Just’ like right before you called me?

Customer: No. Like, I don’t know, six months ago maybe. But it’s not the batteries. They’re fine.

Me: OK. Can you try putting in new batteries now? I’ve found that often solves many remote control related problems.

Customer: No. I don’t have any. You can bring some when you come for the service call.

Me: OK. First let’s see if we can’t figure this out. So you don’t have any TV?

Customer: That’s right.

Me: Is the TV powered on?

Customer: No. There’s no picture.

Me: OK, but is it physically powered on?

Customer: I told you there’s no picture.

Me: Yes but there is a difference between it physically not being powered on and being powered on with no picture. Does the set have power to it and is it turned on?

Customer: I don’t know.

Me: There’s a little light on the front of the set…is it red or green?

Customer: Green.

Me: OK. That means that it is on. So that’s good. Is the receiver on?

Customer: What receiver? I don’t have a receiver.

Me: Umm, yes you do. It is the large box that has a big volume knob on it.

Customer: No. There’s no sound.

Me: OK, but is the receiver on…?

Customer: Can’t tell.

Me: Are there lights on it?

Customer: Yes. It says TV.

Me: What else does it say?

Customer: TV. That’s it.

Me: Well, I know that it will say other things. Like maybe ‘Dolby’ or the word ‘analog’ or ‘digital’ and there will be a number like -25 that indicates the volume.

Customer: OK. I turned it all the way up. It is now is flashing +15.

Me: Wait. Why did you do that? No. Turn it down to like -10. So when the TV comes on it won’t blow out a speaker or something.

Customer: (SOUNDS OF MASSIVE STATIC) OK. Wait. I was jabbing some buttons and now something is happening. There is really loud static coming out of the speakers.

Me: Why were you jabbing buttons? Wait. Stop. What does it say now?

Customer: OK. I jabbed some more buttons now it says Tuner 88.70 and is flashing the word 'MUTE.'

Me: Wait. What? No. You turned it to the tuner? OK. Please press the button that says 'TV' and then just turn the volume know till it says like -20 or -10 or something. Then don't touch anything else.

Customer: OK. It says TV again. and -30. Remote is still broken.

Me: You're not even using the remote right now... OK. So, the TV and receiver are on, but you’ve still got no picture or sound?

Customer: No. The remote is busted just like I said. I need a service call. I can be here this afternoon after 6PM.

Me: I’m pretty sure it isn’t a remote control issue and I’m afraid I can’t do a service call tonight.

Customer: Well, I don’t have any TV. I need you to come out. Today. World Cup is on.

Me: Have you checked the cable box? Is it on?

Customer: Yes.

Me: How do you know it is on?

Customer: It is showing the time.

Me: Well, it always shows the time. Can you press the channel up button on the remote for me?

Customer: The...TV…is…not…on.

Me: Yes, I understand that, but I want to see if the cable box is on and responding to commands.

Customer: OK. Whatever. I am now pressing the channel up button on your remote. Press!

Me: …and…?

Customer: The channel number came up on the box. Then it went back to the time. Still no TV.

Me: And there is still nothing on the TV screen?

Customer: No. Nothing.

Me: Like, it is just a big, black, empty screen?

Customer: No. There is a box with a message.

Me: Like HDMI1 or something?

Customer: No. It says, ‘This box is not authorized.’ Then there is a phone number to call the cable company. Your system is busted.

Me: ….

Customer: Are you there?

Me: …(small pop of aneurysm bursting)…

Customer: Hello?

Me: You need to call the cable company. Just like the box says.

Customer: OK. But I probably still need a service call for this remote...

Categories: July 2014, CTA, Rants

Post a Comment


Oops, you forgot something.


The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

You must be a member to comment on this page. Sign In or Register


Reply Ryan herd
6:54 AM on July 8, 2014 
I just had one of these phone calls followed by another where the person was convinced we sold CD's
I love Mondays . Thanks for making us smile John!

Ryan Herd
Reply Andy Barys
2:19 PM on July 8, 2014 
I get these calls from my dad about once a month.
Reply Lbgpneut
6:47 AM on January 28, 2021 
viagra for sale is viagra a controlled substance viagra order
url= says...
viagra canada paypal
Reply Jbnbhieve
7:55 AM on February 4, 2021 
online pharmacy no prescription needed best canadian pharmacies ?»?ed meds online without doctor prescription
Reply Ahkdpneut
6:09 PM on February 4, 2021 
drugs for sale canadian pharcharmy online no precipitation compare prescription prices
Reply Fvfcdiese
9:58 AM on February 5, 2021 
pharmacy on line canadian pharmacy viagra cialis sign up viagra
Reply Jbbvpneut
6:10 AM on February 9, 2021 
trust pharmacy canada go coupon bestsellers
Reply Nncsdiese
6:50 AM on February 11, 2021 
overnight delivery viagra viagra canada buying viagra without a perscription
Reply Jbnvhieve
8:12 AM on February 11, 2021 
payday loans tucson az cash loans by mobile cash advance memorial drive
Reply Jvbdhieve
4:15 AM on March 24, 2021 
url= says...
service to others essay
online essay editing service college application essay service online essay services
Reply Abgcpneut
9:23 AM on March 31, 2021 
url= says...
thesis literature review
thesis defense advice thesis proposal writing service thesis writing uk
Reply Jbsdpneut
1:39 AM on April 24, 2021 
Ponstel canadian pharmacy cialis
Reply Rfvbdiese
4:26 PM on April 24, 2021 
url= says...
cialis dapoxetine online canada
cialis no prescription
Reply BbdfReet
3:31 PM on April 30, 2021 
over the counter viagra substitute viagra company
Reply Jbsdpneut
1:34 PM on May 1, 2021 
canada viagra
url= says...
online pharmacy without prescription
top rated online canadian pharmacies
Reply Abdgpneut
7:11 AM on May 2, 2021 
medicine online order
url= says...
indian pharmacy
women's health
Reply rendGrefe
9:37 AM on May 11, 2021 
Reply Anoopneut
10:03 AM on May 12, 2021 
directions take viagra can you take viagra before colonoscopy
Reply Rebfdiese
6:39 PM on May 12, 2021 
cialis suppliers uk cheap
url= says...
buy cialis tadalafil
buy cialis online overnight
Reply Lebnpneut
2:48 PM on May 13, 2021 
canadian pharmaceuticals online Eriacta