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Random Thoughts (Blog)

Dinner for One

Posted on October 10, 2010 at 1:19 AM

So the little Expo was over today at 2 PM meaning that I had several hours of glorious Phoenix 90 sunny weather to enjoy on my last day. So it was back to megalo pool to bask in the glory of a cloudless, gently worn denim jeans colored sky. After reading,  iPodding and sleeping for a bit, I felt like my left side – where the sun seemed permanently angled low and beaming and focused on me like a giant orange burning machine – was getting ready to spontaneously combust, I even ventured into the water for a bit of cooling reprise.

 

The way the hotel is positioned, the sun slipped behind it at about 4:30 when the temperature rapidly dropped to like the mid-80s. Freezing. So I went back to the room, grabbed my laptop and notebook and headed down to the Blue Coyote Café and plopped into an outdoor table, ordered an iced tea and started working. Banged out the story for Jeremy on the expo, started working on my CEDIA show wrap for my next S+V column, and generally enjoyed the outdoorseyness which is Reservation resort living in Phoenix in October. Thanks to MSN, I also discovered that quite to the contrary of being lazy, sleeping in late actually makes me a “risk taker.” According to Dr. Michael Smolensky, night owls “are best left undisturbed before they've had their cup of coffee. In contrast to larks [that are early to bed, early to rise] low moods typically occur upon awakening, but mid-morning and late evenings are creative peaks. Owls seem to be more outgoing and social. They also tend to be risk-takers.” Sadly, the biggest risk I’ll be taking tomorrow will be getting up at 4:15 AM to catch the 5:00 AM shuttle to catch my 7:00 AM flight to make it home by 5:14 PM. (Oh, don’t you just LOVE traveling from west to east? A giant groin-punch to you, 3 hour time change!)

 

So, many – like 8 – glasses of tea later, I decide to order dinner and ask for a menu and then sit there for like an hour – two other tables tired of waiting and got up and left – totally alone. Except not totally, as it was just me and my tech-mology.

Which was actually kind of worse than being alone because the whole time it was only reminding me that I had no new e-mails or blog site visitors. Finally the waitress returned and I told her I want to start off with a dinner salad and then have the chicken sandwich. After like another 30 minutes my salad shows up – without my promised fresh sourdough bread – and is immediately followed by my chicken sandwich. I’m really pretty easy going at restaurants, but one thing I hate is when food isn’t spaced properly. It’s really a peeve for me. So I send the sandwich back and ask where my sourdough is. Though apparently on the Res “sourdough” is an accepted colloquialism for “generic wheat roll.” This is not the Talking Stick I have come to know and love! This Stick was talking, but it was muttering incoherent jibber-jabber!

 

Also, during one of the many tea refills – I think I baked all the water out of my system by the pool – my straw vanished. So I asked the waitress for a new straw and she comes out holding a totally unwrapped straw in her hands that was so thin it could have easily been mistaken for an IV line and she says, “Going in the tea?” and then plunks it in. I’m not sure I’ve ever had a straw, um, presented in such a manner. Perhaps that was her subtle way of saying, “You’ve exceeded your $2 value of free tea refills and this new 25 gauge straw will slow you down nicely.”

 

That lamp -- that lonely, solitary lamp, was getting more attention than I was. Sad boosh... So across from me is this table of women that spent their entire meal discussing just how completely awful and monstrous men truly are. By the end of my dinner, I even started hating and distrusting myself a little. The primary harpy was holding court saying how she had made “a TON of money in real estate” and that she bought and then ultimately lost her 10,000 square foot house from years of supporting her chronic abusive, big scary, alcoholic man-husband. Finally there was some big hair pulling, jumping on car threateney showdown that ended with her living at the Marriott and then getting a divorce. But now her daughters say they want to grow up to be just like her; successful without needing a man. Another woman related how she was teaching a dance class and this creepy man brought in his young daughter and asked the lady to teach her some kind of weird adult-sounding dance. (This story was interrupted by what a great work out pole dancing is.) And the guy would stand in the back of the class and mimic that dance moves and take his shirt off and...yeesh! Men are such pervs! I kept waiting for them to turn around and lay some kind of group attack on me. I think the laptop lid shielded me from the majority of their scornful gazes.

 

With all of that and OH so much more man-hating dialog, the classic line of the evening was one of the women talking about flying out of San Diego and how flights are always delayed out of there. She said, “My last flight out was delayed an hour and a half! It was supposed to leave at 12:20 and we didn’t leave until 1:10!”

Categories: October 2010

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2 Comments

Reply Dan
12:02 PM on October 11, 2010 
While you were listening to the ladies at the nearby table, I'm afraid (for you) that your 'sent back' sandwich was being miserably mistreated.
You saw how they delivered your straw. Perhaps the waitress was also listening to the ladies berating on the other sex.
Reply Craig
2:23 PM on October 19, 2010 
Unfortunately, Dan has that one pegged right. One word for you my foolish-sending-back-food-to-the-kitchen-friend. And that word is: spit.